Unexpected Blessings

I'M BLESSED! I just I had to share this wonderful fact with you. I have God's favor on my life and am amazed daily by His goodness and mercy towards me. 2009 was a divine year in every area of my life: professionally and personally. I had my moments deep in the valley and those where I was flying high with the eagles, as we all do. But late in those midnight hours, God turned it around! I feel like doing some old-school gospel music singing, tamborine shaking, soul-clapping, and foot stomping praise when I think about it! As I said in my Christmas reflections, I have experienced so much and know that with each opportunity given the way is paved smoothly for my next destination on this journey called life.

In my last post I paid homage to my suitors of 2009, now I must give a distinguished honor to my fair Romeo* and share how we unexpectedly met. In November, I went on an annual girlfriends vacation to Negril, Jamaica. We (12 women) all were booked to stay at 2-star resort for 7 days/6 nights. While the majority booked double occupancy rooms, me, my sister, and 2 other friends booked single rooms (just in case an opportunity arose, lol). When we checked in, the hotel was overbooked and couldn't accomadate us. For our trouble, we got bumped over to their sister property, a 3 1/2 star resort :-), for the entirety of our stay! Us four were elated! The other ladies, hmm... not so much, but that's another story.

The resort we stayed at was wonderful! On the evening of my third night there, I get a call to my room from a gentleman asking for his friend, I say, sorry you have the wrong room, but he continues to introduce himself and start a conversation. We chat and he asks to comeover to talk in person. Being modest and cautious, I say no, but if you see me around the resort we'll talk then. The next morning I'm walking down to the hall towards breakfast with my friends and a handsome man working at the resort asks us, "Which one of you is staying in room 4308?" I say me, and he says, I'm Romeo, we talked last night and I would like to get to know you. Do you have a minute? I'm blushing, my friends are giving me the OOOOOO, You go girl look, and all I could say is "ok."

In our brief morning chat, he so genuinely shared how it's his first time approaching a guest in this way, but he dared to take the risk having seen me around the resort and thought I would be a beautiful person to know. We had to break quick;y before his manager saw and gave the promise to call again. That night, he went to share some of his goals, previous relationship, and much mmore. The way he spoke to me wa so sincere and sweet, I couldn't help but melt and know what he said so humbly was true. Oh, how I love a confident-yet shy guy!



Since that 6th night of November, we have been inseparable in spirit. We may be an ocean apart for now, but there's no distance in prayer. We communicate frequently throughtout the day, just as we all should with our heavenly father. I thank God for cell phones, emails, and Facebook! These mediums have been conduits that has help propel the relationship forward in building a lasting and loving friendship that could lead toward marriage. I never would have never imagined that I would meet my potential partner for life while on vacation. That stuff only happens in movies!
All I can say is with God, all things are truly possible!

To all my single ladies, remain hopeful, be expectant, and continue to live life on purpose! He will find you! Remember Proverbs 18:22 says, "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD."

We are all treasures worthy of a King, now just beware of pirates in search of booty, LOL!

Homage to My Unsuitable Suitors of 2009

This morning I’m going through my text message inbox and am reflecting on all the online men I’ve conversed with over the year that haven’t resulted into a relationship of any kind! I’ve have repeatedly got stuck in a loop with men of only being the text girl with whom they can flirt with, flatter, and send/receive sexy pics to/from. All have at points stated that they wanted to meet me, go out, be with me, and etc yet when the time came to actually meet~ they are completely AWOL/MIA! I can’t help but notice that the common denominator in all these cases was me. This year I was/am determined to grow relationship wise to better know what I want in a companion, date for practice, and most importantly find someone with whom I can build a lasting loving relationship with that could lead toward marriage. I may have found someone now in the most unlikely of ways and totally removed from the internet~ I guess how life is really intended to be, offline, lol. I’m not proud of how I allowed so much and only received so little from the man I’ve lingered on with for over 2 years. It disturbs, hurts, and angers me that I manipulated myself to become only a sex buddy~ accepting treatment far below what I deserve and what I required but not effectively enforced. In my mind and heart, I wanted to believe that he did/would love me and give me all the love I was showing back. I tried to make it a real relationship and every attempt resulted in me crying over my failed mission. All the signs, actions, and words were there; however, I kept my blinders up and ears plugged to the messages he relayed. The saddest part is that me holding on was due to fear and hopelessness not love. I was scared of moving on~ I don’t know how to breakup with someone and not care or want to be reconciled. All I did was hope…hoped that he would see me as the great woman I am~ smart, funny, spiritual, and sexy~ and claim me as the one. The craziest thing is that the reason I loved him still boggles my mind. He’s not super handsome and the sex was ho-hum, lol.


Waiting to Exhale Love(lol) Scene - Funny bloopers R us

Like our girl Robin in "Waiting to Exhale," I realize now that the reason I’ve clung on all this time was because he happened to be the first man to show interest in me in a while, told me I was beautiful and sexy, and acted on the attraction he felt. No one else was acting upon their attraction they had for me, just watched me from afar either online or in real life from a distance. This fact is the only reason as to why I have been torturing my heart in having hope that Aaron* would “get his act together” and be the man I need/want him to be. As each time I tried to mold the situation, it would spring out to its original shape. He says it not me, he’s not happy with where he is in life, but it does still relate to me. I should have stopped then, but of course I let him in around Easter and the pattern of quarterly/holiday sex continued. Praise be to the Most High God, for that soul tie has been broken and am now free of that bondage! Hallelujah!



In the interim, I had joined every dating site: Black Planet, Black People Meet, Eharmony, and the list goes on. All in efforts of finding someone else, to help get over Aaron.*

I get a couple of winks, flirts, and messages that gives a nice ego boost filled with ideas of potential mates who are out of Never Never Land! Men who’s profile present themselves to be mature, professional, and ready for a serious relationship with a like-minded single sexy sista like me. Man, I swear these sites should be reported to the better business bureau because of all the false advertising! There was, Larry,* the youth minister and non-profit fundraiser that on paper had all the qualities an educated Christian black woman would want. He had a college degree from a top school, great with kids, loves the Lord, and of course has the ever needed “good” job. What‘s not to like? Well, what I didn’t equate is the heavily weighted factors of chemistry and attraction. We could’ve been an “ideal” match,
but I simply couldn’t get my eyes off his C-cup man-boobs or over his lisp in a pitch that just rings the “is he gay/bi-sexual” alarm! He’s a nice guy and all, but after seeing his interaction with him and his pastor, I had this sad visual of how R. Kelly‘s “In the Closet “ series would include me, SMDH! As Whitney would say, “Oh Hell to the Naw!” NEXT!

Next up was Curly,* a salesman from Virginia, who was dumped by his girlfriend of 10 years just 7 months prior to our date, and was still one sad pup. Curly and I had a good first date seeing a stage production of “Taming of the Shrew” courtesy of DC’s Shakespeare Free for All. At dinner is where the violins started to play and I’m not taking about a symphonic jazz band, LOL! Our conversation consisted of how they lived together, he’s still close to her family, they share custody of their dogs, and how he fills the void with tickets to all DC sport teams (Caps, Nats, Redskins, & Wizards). I’m cool with the sports, shoot I was hoping for another date just to see a game, but the clincher was when he said how he’s still figuring out what his interests and wants are in a new relationship. Even with the ex-girl drama I was still interested in another date, but the feeling wasn’t mutual. So, the date ended with a pat-pat hug and a “see ya on facebook” parting.

Aww the last of the three stooges, Moe, confirmed why I needed to stop online dating and start living life OFFLINE! I had met Moe when I first ventured into online dating using Match.com three years ago. At that time we flirted and chatted, but we both choose to go with other matches and never met face to face. We kept in contact sporadically on yahoo IM and later became Facebook friends. As time would have it ,he seriously dated his match for two years while I was kickin’ it with mine, Aaron*. They had the lovey couple pics up, cutesy status updates, and all the other ish that makes you gag when its not you! To my surprise, him and wifey break up in 09’ and I’m now the crazy sexy, cool, chick that got away and had basically been bench warming waiting on coach to call me in to play (mind you, I didn’t realize I was doing that until I read “Miseducation of the Black Woman” and Single Black Male’s blog among others). In being game ,I was flattered and excepted the invitation. Date day comes and I get stood up— an unforgivable act—then later fed a weak ,but possibly a real excuse. Moe’s a P.E. teacher and one of his kids was injured and he went with them to the hospital until the parent came from afterwork. A pass was given since he called one hour before and left a remorseful voicemail. The most disappointing fact to this story is that he didn’t follow-up on the pitch and left me there hanging ready to bat! Apparently, he had other reserved players on the team too~ damn, another dude to delete!

In this homage to the few unsuitable suitors I’ve met in the course of 2009, I’m really giving honor to my very own Romeo and Caribbean Casanova, who recently came into my life like a rising tide and took me away from a dirty man-made sandy point bay to a beautiful Island of love surrounded by crystal-clear water. I can’t even begin to effectively describe how well he loves me even though he‘s currently long distance! I have a new outlook on love for 2010 & beyond. In this new year, I have a new plan, purpose, and mantra: In 2010, I win!

I write this to encourage you all to keep up the good fight to find the right love for you. Like in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” you may get sick eating all those chocolate bars in search of the golden ticket, but once you find it~ it’s priceless!

*name changed

Christmas Reflections 2009

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Every year I tell myself that I am mailing out Christmas cards. I’ve even purchased cards yet, I never mail them. Days and weekends just fly by! This year I discovered Christmas newslettering and realized it’s a quick innovative way to catch up and bring family/friends up to speed on the events and happenings that occurred in my life the pass year. By newslettering, I am sharing my joys and highlights with you, my dearest friends. I’m beginning a new tradition of celebrating the season while reflecting on the greatness of God active in our lives throughout the year.

2009 has truly been a divine year! It was a year full of excitement with multiple travels to great cities across the U.S. for work & play, a prestigious presenting of my research data on Tomorrow’s Leaders in Aging (My young professionals in aging org) at the 2009 ASA/NCOA Conference, and celebrating my heavenly 27th birthday with my BFFs/F&F ~Holla! J It has also been a year of defining firsts including a) witnessing the inauguration of our nation’s for Black President, Barack Obama, b) realizing the American dream of home ownership and purchased my first home, spending quality time with family and friends, and c) capping the year off with a wonderful fun-filled vacation to Negril, JA where I met a potential love for life! Wow, what a year and that is just a short list of God’s many blessings to me and mine (this means you as a part of me)!!!!

I am looking forward to 2010 being even better. In 2010, we all win!

I hold all of you close to my heart and thank you for contributing to all of the joy I experienced in 2009 professionally and personally. What matters most at this time is the impact one may have on another’s life.
Know that you have left on indelible mark on my life and I pray I have left the same in yours. Alas, lest we forget that Jesus is the reason for the season! Matthew 1:21 states, “And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.” cue: ♪ Joy to The World ♪



Enjoy all the great Christmas carols this week and praise HIM!

I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Wonderful 2010. May God Bless You!! Love, Urrikka

Give Me Those Complex but Simple Equations

I asked him
to share what was within
his power to give.
The simple things
Not money, cars, or platinum rings.

What I requested
has been tested
and proven to be accepted
by all women.

A card expressing the indescribable.
A bouquet of flowers as evidence of blooming love.
A tender touch, warm hug, and a lingering stare
All to show that he cares.

Offering gifts to me
As one should to a Queen.
And in dishonoring she,
You lose as King.
For there is no dynasty
Without Her Majesty

So does this seem like trigonometry?
Because this math is simple to me,
The solution is an absolute.
Sum up these variables and then compute
That the best gift
Is all of you.

If he can't meet you where you are... leave him where he's at!

Words from Pastor Jamal Harrison-Bryant:



I often warn women who are contemplating marriage to marry someone who can take care of them. When a woman marries, it ought to be to someone who is capable of taking her to the next level. If she comes from poverty, there is no reason for her to get married and still be impoverished. The role of the man is to take her to another place.


When she gets married, she ought to dress better, drive better, live better, and eat better, not constantly be in a struggle over where her next meal is coming from. My grandmother used to say, 'I can do bad all by myself'. For a woman desiring a mate, the objective, of course, would be to find a Christian man, who's settled, has goals, accomplishments and a job. But a goal-oriented and focused man can't just be approached any kind of way. So the woman who seeks this type of stability must make sure that she stands out above the crowd:


1. Make sure your relationship with the Lord is strong and growing.


2. Make sure that you are presentable. Working from the inside out, your presentation should be representative of both who you are and whom you seek. Appearance is a reflection of how you see yourself.


3. Have the ability to hold an intelligent conversation.



4.. And most importantly, allow God to take control.

You don't need to go after him. He's going to come after you, because after he sees and smells you and knows that you're in his presence, he's going to want to know who you are!

I know there's somebody reading this who has been chasing after the 'man of your dreams,' but God says, 'Just sit still and allow patience to have her perfect work through Me.'


Furthermore, it's never a good idea to be too forward and too aggressive. Attempting to win a man's affection by jumping into bed with him will only backfire and cause him to lose interest in ever developing a lasting relationship. It causes him to lose respect for you and question your character.

However, if he sees that you are dressed with quality, that you smell like you are somebody, that you look like you're doing fine without him, then that will attract the right attention from him. He'll have no choice but to give you his attention. Stop looking so needy, climbing into bed, trying in vain to capture a man's heart.


God woke me up in the middle of the night and said, 'The same thing that Naomi told Ruth to do is the same thing that I want them to do for me.'

God is so sick of people coming to Him trying to get a quickie and never romancing Him for Who he is - going to church screaming, shouting and hollering, but hadn't been intimate with God all week long! Stop trying to treat God like a sugar daddy and start romancing Him with worship and praise: 'I'm yours Lord...everything I've got...everything I'm not!'


The God we serve, which is the God of Love, demands and requires of us foreplay before He gives us what we need. In the book of Ruth, the mother-in-law tells Ruth, 'You have to wash.' John 15:3 reminds us, Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. When you sit in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, you are taking a shower. When you hear the unadulterated Word of God, then the dirt and grime that you've accumulated all week long begins to wash off of you.


Ask God to 'create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit.' Stand in the word. Then wait upon the Lord to renew your strength.

Pass this on to those who have found or are seeking Mr. Right.

This message is not directed at the receiver, it is directed to women I know that touch other young women that can benefit from this information. We are to be Naomi's of the world today. Our young women need to be informed of how to catch and keep a man that will respect them.

"If he can't meet you where you are....leave him where he's at!"

Unauthorized

Mommy's home and has given me so much food for thought, especially when it comes to my online presence and my obvious addiction to social media outlets like facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Black Planet and now my own blog. These sites are all fun for me, but I really have to take into account who I'm letting into my inner thoughts and comments on life around me. Not everyone will be happy for me and nor will they care to know all my thoughts. In reflection of this truth and on my actions in the last few months. I'm going to do a virtual "clean house" and declutter my virtual imprint. I'm adding more privacy settings to my sites and making my blog for friends only not the world at large. So, I hope you all would read and participate with me on my blog and know that it is only shared with us ~ not just anyone who may come across my link.

Much love ♥

Uncontested: Caribbean Queen

This month of November has been another fabulous month in the life of Ms. U. I truly can't complain~ God is Good! In this time in our country where there are so many people impacted by our recession, whether it be a job loss or another life altering change, I'm truly thankful for the steady constants in my life: a stable job, own condo, bills paid, and most importantly a great family and true friends.

My dear friends and I (AKA Thick Clique) began an annual tradition last year to travel to Jamaica in November to celebrate birthdays and enjoy the island during the off-season. Last Year we went to Montego Bay, JA. It was seven of us then and we had a blast. Here's a glimpse of the fun we had. Here's my sis and I at the barefoot bar :-)

This year we had to go back and do it bigger than ever! We set out sights on taking over Negril, JA and that's what we did! On this trip we had 12 ladies all excited and eager to hit the beach, get a bronze tan, go on excursions, wind it up at a dancehall, and maybe even meet a "Winston" :-)



Of course, I didn't have to go to Jamaica to get my groove back becuase it never left~ LOL!

So, I planned to do the things I've never done before this on trip. I'm a native Floridian and I've never done water sporting! Well in JA, I jet skiied, parasailed, went boating, and bounced around on the ocean on a banana boat. I stayed at the Beaches Sandy Bay resort. I loved it! Everything was wonderful.

Once I got back on the ground, I was on to enjoy all the luxuries that being at an all-inclusive resort provides. This means a lot of drinking and eating, lol. My new thing is Convoursier and Coke~ yeah I know its not a "island" drink, but it will get you sailing :-) I did make sure to bring some of that duty-free Jamaican rum for kicks back home.



Although I didn't go to JA to find a boo, I surprisingly found a potential love in the most unlikely of ways (at least for me). Lately, I've only have had luck meeting men online. It seems as if no one ever approaches me in person, but online I'm a man magnet, SMH! So to meet someone while on vacation, who has the same interests as me and in the place in his life where he is looking for a lasting loving long-term relationship like me is something out of a Arabesque novel.



Is this love? I don't know, but I'm excited to see where it leads! Not knowing what tomorrow brings is what makes life worth living!



My trip was awesome I could write pages on all I did, saw, and experience while there for an amazingly short 7 days. I believe that a picture is a thousand words, so here are a few more.

What are your vacation memories? Do you have a "Stella" story? Do tell!